Literal Humor

I read this joke the other day and got a laugh from it:

A wife asked her husband to go to the market.  "Buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get six."  A short time later the husband returned with half a dozen cartons of milk.  "Why did you buy six?" asked the wife.  Replied the husband "they had avocados."

After writing logic code for the past week, I found this especially funny.

Box 3-5-0

What do you get when you cross a 1970's children's television show with a Thoom?



Thoom.

All these years later, I still remember the mailing address.

Time and Money

I just threw away some money, and with that, I also am throwing away around 20 future-hours of my life.

I just purchased Portal 2.

Why do I do this to myself?

"Soon!"

I follow Diablo 3 news, and a topic caught me eye: a fan asked "when?" and the response was "soon!":

[Question]: Do you think they were almost done, but decided to all go get sno-cones and play a few rounds of backgammon first? But now, called out for their slackerly ways, will finish it post-haste?

[Response]: It doesn’t matter, man. It’s not worth spending time trying to justify our processes, just stuff happens when it happens, we can maybe drop some hints, sometimes, other times we may not, but ultimately it’s done when it’s done and that drives some people INSANE. Can’t be helped.

Somehow saying “soon” makes people less insane, or even giggle. It’s like magic.

I found this amusing, only in that HelpfulGM has been using the term "soon!" for years.

Star Wars Uncut

starwarsuncut.com

You may or may not have heard of this project: the Star Wars movie (episode IV) was divided into 15 second clips, and, after reserving a clip, anyone could reinterpret the clip as they wished.

The entire project has been completed and is available on the site (or on YouTube).  I found some of the clips to be amazing—there are some very talented people out there—and some of the humor is simply outrageously funny.  If you are a Star Wars fan and have two hours to burn, then give it a look.

Here is one of my favorites clips:


Star Wars Uncut - Scene 248 from Jason Garrattley on Vimeo.

Eggnog? More Like EggNOD!

This is the time of year for eggnog.

A personal bit of information about myself: I love my eggnog, and I simply can not resist sneaking a cup after dinner.  And after lunch.  And before breakfast.



I shall be relieved when the season is over and I can no longer buy eggnog.  My cholesterol-clogged arteries hurt.

Giving Thanks

It is Thanksgiving Day here in the States.  As I work on some Bawkmas related projects, I am thankful that I can take an existing script – one that other GMs have worked upon to perfect – and gut it and h4x it and create a new purpose for it.

Other things for which I am grateful:

• Having good health
• Having employment in such a crappy economy
• Having good family and friends
• Having the opportunity to make Clan Lord a funner place

 If you are traveling this holiday weekend, then please travel safely!

Linda, Linda, Linda

I saw a charming movie yesterday: a Japanese film entitled "Linda, Linda, Linda."

This is not a film for everyone, as it is in Japanese (with English subtitles), and it develops rather slowly.  However, it is quite sweet and touching as it follows four high school girls struggling to prepare themselves for a rock concert performance.

If you look hard enough, you may find it somewhere on the Internet.  Or if you wish to skip straight to the SPOLIERS and see how the movie ends, you can probably find that, too.

And, after watching the movie, you'll have that song in your head for the rest of the week.

The Worst Kept Secret

...is this blog.  I wanted to take a moment to welcome the newer readers here and to thank everyone for your comments.  I enjoy reading them.

I am amused (bemused?) at the increase of readership, as I have not spoken of this blog to anyone.  This blog started as one part journal, one part catch-all for ideas, one part editorial and one part something-constructive-to-do-with-my-time.  I wouldn't say that anything has changed in that respect: I continue to add journal entries about the highs and lows of my experiences; I still daydream about cool vaporware for the game; and I still voice my opinion and share my thoughts.  I guess that I have some trouble grasping why anyone else would find my self-indulgent ramblings of any interest.

I was genuinely surprised to see a link to this blog on Thoomcare:



I have always considered Thoomcare a great source for public knowledge of Clan Lord, and I found it surprising to see my silly little blog listed there – which therefore makes Yap³ one of the worst kept secrets of Clan Lord.

I find that to my liking.

Starcraft 2 and Real Time Strategy

I am glad that I do not play Starcraft.  The Starcraft 2 trailer looks totally bad ass, and the last thing that I want in my life right now is another way to waste time.

I have played the Warcraft series.  My take on these types of Real Time Strategy games is that they're not too dissimilar to farming kudzu while defending crops from Pazu-Ohwi: the player works towards a production goal (kudzu seedlings in this example) while warding off opponents that are trying to destroy the means of production.

It's fun, I suppose, if one enjoys that style of gaming.  I happen to find kudzu farming dreadfully dull.

PAX East, Final Day

The only Sunday panel discussion that interested me was "Future of the MMO Scene - MMORPG.com."  This panel was moderated by Garrett Fuller [News Manager, MMORPG.com], and had the following unannounced guest panelists: Bob Ferrari [Sanrio Digital / Typhoon Games], Craig Alexander [Turbine Entertainment], Paul Barnett [EA / Bioware / Mythic], and Curt Schilling [38 Studios].

This discussion was different in that they immediately opened the floor to questions, and the questions, unlike the questions asked in previous panels, were very good.  The panelists discussed their views on transmedia (accessing your favorite MMO from iPhone apps and web widgets); various pricing models (subscription-based services, transaction-based services, the "Las Vegas" model, where some pay a little and some pay a lot); technical accessibility (if you don't meet the specs then you can't play the game and you've lost a potential customer); web browser MMOs (instant accessibility with a minimum of download times: click-and-play right away) and the WoW Killer (WoW does everything right: it is the iPod of MMOs).  The biggest laugh came from former major league baseball pitcher Curt Schilling, who stated "I played professional baseball, and I could not wait to go home and go online."

After the discussion, I toured around the exhibition hall again.  Sometime last week I mentioned the Emissary by Geek Chic, and I was surprised to see this company present at the expo.  I had a delightful chat with company founder Robert Gifford and briefly discussed his niche business and its rapid growth.  He was very cool and I wish this company plenty of good karma in the years to come.

Afterwards I played a hand of Magic: the Gathering at the WotC demo table.  There was five seats available: I had one seat and the others were occupied by a family of four.  It was humorous to see the eight year old boy leap into action, sending a monster at me in retaliation for my playing a card against his dad.  Afterwards I played the XBox version of M:tG, and had much better luck in winning against the computer than I had against the eight year old boy.

All-in-all, it was a very enjoyable weekend, and I can see myself willing to attend another PAX someday.  And like Curt Schilling, I am glad to be home and back online.

PAX East, Day 2

I arrived at day 2 of PAX East a little after noon, so I was late for the panel discussion "I HAVE A GREAT IDEA FOR A GAME!!"  The gist of this discussion was getting yourself to SACWAG and surround yourself with talented people.  It was very entertaining and the panelists,Chris Oltyan [Director of Product Development, ZeeGee Games], Eitan Glinert [President, Fire Hose Games], Darius Kazemi [President, Orbus Gameworks], Ichiro Lambe [President, Dejobaan Games] were very lively and engaging.

While waiting for the next event, I visited the exhibition hall and played a very entertaining (if not very abbreviated) version of D&D 4E.  Instead of using miniatures, we moved ourselves through a small tiled area and battled against a life-sized (cardboard cut-out) opponent.  Our group was victorious defeating the wraith, and we each received a "Monster Slayer" medallion.  I applaud WotC for the way this booth was operated; the personnel were really into it in a light-hearted stage way.

While I had not planned on attending this next event, I found myself thoroughly enjoying and laughing throughout "A Sophisticated Evening with Rooster Teeth Productions."  This raunchy, irreverent group is responsible for the hit machinima series Red vs. Blue, and the audience got a lengthy preview to season 8.  This event was truly a lot of fun.

The final panel discussion that I attended was "MMO Gamer Behavior 101," featuring Ethan Gilsdorf [author, Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks, freelance writer], Victor Pineiro [Social Media Strategist, Big Spaceship], Juan Carlos Pineiro [CEO, Pure West], Sean Stalzer [President and CEO, the Syndicate].  This was a discussion on the social aspects of MMOs, focusing primarily on World of Warcraft and Facebook, and where the two intersect.  We all love to be the hero, and we all love the opportunity to overcome challenges, but with MMOs, we are able to face these challenges with friends, and within there lies the appeal.  This was a very informative discussion, and I have more to say on it.  I'd best save that for another journal entry.

I've really been enjoying myself.  Tomorrow is the last day.  I'll need to play more games before the exhibit halls close.

PAX East, Day 1

Whew.  Today was a long day.  I attended one panel discussion and one movie, separated by four hours of waiting.

The panel discussion was Design An RPG In An Hour, lead by David Hill and his wife (whose name I don't remember).  It was a light and whimsical discussion that was heavy on designing game themes and less on game mechanics.  I suppose there's only so much that one can cover in an hour (the game that we decided on was Scoop! : a Game of Cold-Blooded Journalism! featuring dinosaur reporters trying to uncover tales of conspiracy).

I learned something important at PAX: if one wished to attend two back-to-back events held in the same room, then one may not linger around in said room; one must leave that room and reenter the line for the second event.  I missed the "Storytelling in the World of Interactive Fiction" discussion as a result.  I shall bear this in mind for the rest of the weekend when planning my events.  I'll need to look around for an online transcript or podcast of this missed panel discussion; it was a subject that I was really interested in hearing.

I had some down time, so I wandered around the exhibition hall and saw some neat games: of note was Power Gig, a competitor to Rock Band (but uses a six string guitar instead of a push-button guitar), as well as Open Chord, which is more of a do-it-yourself version of Rock Band.

Two other games caught my eye: Red Dead Redemption by Rockstar Games, a very impressive first-person shooter set in the Old West; and Limbo for the XBox, a moody black and white platform game.

Throughout the convention hall were Sumo beanbag chairs.  These things were pretty awesome.

My evening ended with previewing the documentary Get Lamp.  This was a more of a "very long trailer," as director Jason Scott phrased it.  The film is still being edited, so we saw a special director's cut that gave us a general feel for documentary.  One especially fascinating sequence concerned interviews with three blind Interactive Fiction players.  It was intriguing to listen to their perspective on playing these games (one player mentioned commented on the need for a light source: "It's dark and I can't see? Like, so what?").

I didn't stay around for the panel discussion, as the pace was a little slow and unfocused and I was finally all Conned-out for the evening.  There's still tomorrow and Sunday for more gaming and panel discussions.

The Emissary

Although it's a little old, I saw an awesome article on RPG.net regarding the gaming table of gaming tables: The Emissary.  It's a small article with a lot of amazing photographs of a table.  Yes: I used "amazing photographs" and "table" in the same sentence.

The company that makes this table is Geek Chic, whose motto is "Emerge Ex Hypogaeo" (Latin for "Come Out of the Basement").  Any company that makes high-end geek furniture is Okay in my book.  If I had $1500 then I would show my support for this company.

Maybe I could set up a PayPal tip jar.

Back again

I logged on this evening and was greeted by an invasion in full swing.  Ahhh, it's good to be home.

On a semi-related topic, I had been using the trial version of Cornerstone, a Subversion client, for the past 14 days.  The trial ended this evening, and I tried to launch Versions, a competing application.  After launching Versions, it updated itself and then immediately hung and I had to force-quit the application.  I then relaunched it, and tried to set up my Subversion information and could not connect to the server.

Three minutes later I purchased my Cornerstone license, and haven't had a moment's regret.

Steamed Heat

I've heard that Valve is bringing Steam to the Mac.

Long have I watched the cool videos of people playing Half-Life, Portal and Team Fortress, but, being a Mac user, had to content myself to playing old games like Oni and for six or seven years (Clan Lord is excused as it is not a third-person shooter).

I don't know how to feel about this.  It's great that the Mac is getting attention and receiving more games, but I can't help but feel that it's a little like getting your older brother's shirt after he's outgrown it.  I'll hold judgment until I see what's available and what price they're charging.  If they're charging $50 for a game that's five years old, well, that's $50 staying in my pocket.

Besides, if I start playing Team Fortress, then Puddleby will never hear from me again!

Ok Go: This Too Shall Pass

Today's entry is entirely off topic.

I'm sure most of you have seen Ok Go's YouTube music video "Here It Goes Again."  This group recently teamed up with Mindshare to develop an enormous Rube Goldberg machine for their video "This Too Shall Pass."

I don't think that any words from me can adequately describe the genius involved in this production.  Not only is this video a technical/engineering success, but the artistic design behind some of the contraptions is simply brilliant.  The umbrella-sun and pop-up-flowers is artistically wondrous, the television on the trapeze is an unexpected surprise, and the last thirty seconds are just delightfully overwhelming.  And the camera work is just perfect, as is the choreography and the timing.

I can't stop watching this video.  Sometimes I just love the internet.

PAX East

Is anyone other than myself attending PAX East?

I'll be there primarily to see the GET LAMP documentary, but since I was buying a ticket for one day, I decided to spend the few extra bucks and get the three day pass.  I don't know what the event schedule is like (I'm not even sure that the organizers know what the schedule is like), so I don't really know if I'll be hanging around for the entire weekend.

This will be my first gaming industry trade show.  I don't know what to expect.  If it's anything like Magic: the Gathering tournaments, then I can expect three days of that "musty gym locker" aroma.

Just sayin'.

The Games People Play

Today was Game Day.

One of my gaming buddies turned 40 and celebrated by holding a day-long gaming event.  One of his friends owns a game store and arrived with a very tall stack of games for us to play.

One game that I played and really enjoyed was Small World.  The short summary is that the game plays a bit like Risk-meets-Settlers of Catan: players control sections of a map and earn money for each controlled area, and the game end after a predetermined number of rounds.

The mechanics of the game are very simple (an area is captured by simply placing more invaders than there are defenders), and the light-hearted, random civilization combinations (Flying Giants! Diplomat Skeletons!) increase the replay value. Once a civilization you control is no longer of value, then you may allow it to decline and select a new random civilization (Mounted Amazons! Heroic Wizards!) to rise and rule the lands.

A game takes around 40 minutes to play, depending on the number of people.  It's not a cheap game – $50 for the basic set – but I think that it could be $50 well spent.  I'll put it on my Bawkmas wish list.

MLK

Take a moment today to remember a great man who had a great dream.